Everything is going fine until one day he starts to pull away, leaving you to wonder “Why do men pull away?”. You’re anxious, concerned and wondering “what is going on?” He’s left you completely in the dark and you’re worried he’s pulling away for good. Has he lost interest? Has he found someone else? Is he just annoyed with you? Why do men pull away and what can you do about it?
It’s a terrible feeling. It can happen during dating. It can happen during a committed relationship. It can happen after a man says he’s in love with you and wants to be with you.
Keep reading because in this article I’ll reveal 3 of the biggest reasons why men pull away.
#1 – It’s Not Because He Doesn’t Love You
The biggest fear women have when a man pulls away is that deep down he is losing interest. Maybe he’s having second thoughts. Maybe he likes someone else. Maybe he’d rather be single. Maybe he finds the sex boring and wants a woman who actually knows how to please him. Maybe he just finds you boring, period.
This is our biggest fear and often the furthest thing from the truth. When we think it’s about us, it’s often our own fears coming up to haunt us.
Most women are insecure when it comes to their self-image. It doesn’t matter how beautiful a woman is, how successful she is, how intelligent she is, she’ll laser in on her shortcomings and believe she’s never quite good enough.
This is usually FAR from the truth.
We have to stop degrading ourselves in this way (and thinking it’s always about us).
#2 – Have You Pulled Away First?
Have you ever been scared to say what you really think because you were afraid how he would react? Perhaps he said something that made you feel uncomfortable, uneasy or just annoyed. Perhaps he has unintentionally hurt your feelings without realizing it.
It doesn’t feel good does it? In fact, it often feels like you’re carrying heavy deadweight in the bit of your stomach.
Believe it or not when you feel this amount of tension in your body, your man will pick up on it. Either he is going to feel you’re pulling away from him or he will just sense something is not right. He may not know exactly what it is but he will feel it.
He will likely react by pulling away too because just like you, he has his own fears about not being good enough.
#3 – He Is Overwhelmed
When a woman has a problem, she often wants to talk about it. When a man has a problem, he often wants to hide in his man cave. A man can easily be overwhelmed by problems in his life; from problems at work to feeling overwhelmed by emotions.
When he pulls away, it’s because he needs to be by himself to work out these issues on his own. He isn’t intentionally trying to make you feel left out. What makes this so frustrating is that women often want to talk when he just wants to be left alone.
The more you badger him to open up or try to help him, the more resistant he will become and the more space he’ll need.
The biggest thing women need to realize is that when men pull away, it’s not always about you. The more you project your own fears onto him, the more you’ll push him away.
Stop pushing your man away and get him to chase after you instead.
What You Should Do When Men Pull Away
The best thing for a woman to do is to give him space and do something for yourself. You must trust that he will figure it out and get out of the slump he is in.
Most guys will greatly appreciate you when you do this. He knows you don’t take it personally and it’s one less thing he needs to worry about.
Men like autonomous women. They don’t want the added burden to “look after someone else’s problems” because they often have enough of their own to worry about.
This may make men look selfish, but men often feel they need to carry a lot on their own. Some women are this way too.
After He Pulls Away He’ll Naturally Come Back
After a period of being in his man cave, a man will often come back more in love, needy and wanting to be close than ever before. He’s had time to process the problem he had and now he’ll want to talk about it and discuss them with you.
Now is not to time for you to unload onto him all the distress and suffering he’s caused by not communicating. This will only piss him off and shut him down.
Remember him pulling away was probably NOT about you, so it’s best you calmly sit and listen as he opens up to you.
How Long Is Too Long For Him To Pull Away?
I’ve found there is a reasonable amount of time for a man to pull away. If he exceeds this amount then there are other things going on. Let me explain.
If a man were trying to process problems on his own, a typical timeframe would be 3-8 hours. This will largely depend on if he needs to work or do other things during that time.
Even if you’ve had an argument a man will usually not let too much time pass without communicating.
This timeframe could be longer if you’re in a long distance relationship.
If a man stops communicating for 1-3 days+, you’ve got other issues. Generally this means he is probably reconsidering the relationship and unsure what to do next.
Men are notoriously for avoiding conflict with women. Most of them would prefer to disappear and never talk to her again than do the adult thing and tell her it’s over.
A lot of men will also do this to provoke a woman to dump him first so he can avoid confrontation himself.
Yes it’s cowardly and very immature. But this is where you must assess the emotional maturity of the man you’re with. Does he say what he thinks most of the time or does he sugarcoat things and try not to rock the boat. Does he avoid conflict with family members and friends? If he does, there’s a good chance he’ll do the same with you.
If you suspect this is the situation you’re in, the best thing to do is walk away. A man like this is not worth your time and you want a man who loves you and will not shy away from communication.
Now that you know why and what to do when men pull away, would you like to know how to stop this from happening again?
Make him fall rapidly in love so his emotional bond with you is so strong he’ll never want to willingly break it.
Download my free cheatsheet texting guide to make any man fall in love and commit wholeheartedly to you.